Dating intimacy and the teenage years

To have a deeply intimate relationship, your son will need to be able to express the full range of emotions without feeling lesser because of it. Encourage him to reveal, at least a little, what is bothering or upsetting him. Focus on the initial sharing without trying to have him elaborate it. This becomes a real problem when the Other is your romantic partner. Tell her you appreciate her being so considerate.” .

Love and intimacy can’t survive the suffocating effects of domination. This is not about giving presents or defending her honor (both of which can be a twisted form of making yourself feel good).

Seventy-five percent of teenage guys would rather lose their virginity to someone they love.

Sixty-six percent would rather have a girlfriend with no sex (versus sex without a girlfriend).

Help your son realize the importance of learning and practicing emotional openness.

Romance in movies is mostly characterized by idealization, infatuation, lust and one dimensional people (think Twilight, The Hangover, Iron Man, Spider man and 300).

Relationships in music lyrics emphasize hedonism, sexism, the objectification of women (and men) or the inability to trust your partner not to break your heart (or cheat on you).

She has to be the first one who makes it clear she wants to be a couple.

Talk to your son about the importance of being the first to take some of the emotional risks in a relationship. The longstanding and deeply engrained tradition of putting down other guys for showing feminine traits or qualities has created no end of trouble for men across the ages.

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